A fish in water doesn't know it's wet (YLSNE 29)

Today was a much more introspective, "learning about myself" kind of day.

Our church service this morning was led by Joel McKerrow, a performance poet from Australia. I have to admit I wasn't sure what to expect and knew that this had the potential to be either a boring or weird morning, and after sleeping in this morning, I wasn't even sure it was worth rushing to get ready and heading to church for. But I dragged my butt there and was more than glad I did.

Joel talked about the importance of story, interspersed with some fantastic poetry. One of the things we as a community talked about this morning was the story we tell about God, and the images of God we have. Joel performed a poem about his rebellious years growing up in a Christian home. About being young, when our image of God mirrors our fathers, and then we grow up and realize this does not sit right anymore and we begin to seek God in earnest, but eventually we end up developing an image of God that looks like ourselves. And so it goes generation to generation. Some related to this experience in their own lives, including myself, and then others related to it in their experiences as parents. Others spoke of their experience growing up aboriginal and never relating to the image of God that is preached, the upper class white God as it were; their ways of knowing never being accepted by the majority culture.

Having traveled a fair amount, and having studied sociolinguistics and cross-cultural communication, I am more than aware of how our worldviews shape how we think about ourselves, and often shape our sense of right, wrong, weird, normal, our images of God, and even our lack of belief in a God.

At the end of the service, we were each provided with a paper and pencil and wrote along the top, "My life is..." Then we were instructed to just write non-stop for 2 minutes. Joel explained that poets start by getting out whatever is inside them, and then edit and make it "pretty" later. So that was our task, just write and not worry about how good, grammatical, sensible it was. Here's what I learned about the story I tell about myself  (I say 'learned' here because I've never thought about myself this way before, but when just writing and not thinking about it, this is what came out upon reflection of who I am):

I view myself as a houseplant. I have very little control over where I am and my immediate surroundings. Yet I grow towards the light, when it is available. Drink water deeply because I'm not sure when I will be watered again. But I also produce beautiful flowers when I have the perfect mix of sun, water, and adversity. 

I have yet to decide if this is a good or bad story to tell about myself, but it will at least give me some food for thought over the next few days. Perhaps it will give me something to work with as I try and understand the present transition in life, and I can begin reframing my story (in Joel's words).